NLP Main Menu
January 04, 2007
December 27, 2006
Secrets of Success
This page is a list of ideas to which various hard-working people have attributed their success. Many of the items were culled from _The Secrets of the World's Top Sales Performers_ by Christine Harvey, but others have come from various interviews, books and articles whose sources I was negligent in noting. If a certain item doesn't make sense to you, feel free to interpret it in a way that serves you or send me a message and we can discuss it. Dale Kirby
Secrets
1. A tightly scheduled 12-hour day
2. Have contacting goals
3. Systematic communication.
4. Know your subject.
5. Learn from questions you are asked: Don't get caught twice.
6. Always have an active prospect list that you contact regularly.
7. Respond fast.
8. Keep your name in front of the customer.
9. Develop innovative strategies for yourself and your customers.
10. Impressive preparation.
11. Finding a niche.
12. Weekly targets.
13. Show people their strengths.
14. Use 80/20 rule.
15. Each day write down 2 things on the job you did that you enjoyed
or found satisfying.
16. React to problems promptly.
17. Honesty.
18. It's all or nothing for the customer.
19. Thorough planning.
20. Verify key points after meetings in writing.
21. Start meetings with a review.
22. Bring, show or discuss one positive they are not expecting.
23. Tried and true case studies.
24. Develop a system that allows you to find info in 15 seconds.
25. Respect deadlines on promises made.
26. Use flexibility to break into new markets.
27. Perfect your communication.
28. Mentally walk with them.
29. Put features and benefits into layers of pyramid and focus on best layer.
30. Mind-emptying excercises.
31. Structured follow-up
32. See how success works and copy, copy, copy.
33. Don't get tired of service.
34. Flair
35. Anticipate questions and know the answers.
36. Believe in your product.
37. Know exactly where you're going to start the next day.
38. Have high daily targets and when you achieve them--quit.
39. Set up definte rules to get over each hurdle and on to the next.
40. Know competitors products.
41. Create pride of ownership.
42. Have a structured selling answer to "What do you do? & a handout.
43. State your price as a benefit.
44. Answer, "What do you do?"
45. Spend 90% of your time either prospecting or on appointments.
46. Develop solid closing questions.
47. Know your product--shoot the answer.
48. List the benefits of your product.
49. Look as if you've operated the product all your life.
50 Full-scale mock-up. Prototype.
51. Be there when you're needed.
52. Never, ever forget one single thing you've promised to do,
no matter how trivial it seems.
53. Respect the client for what he is and for what he has accomplished in life.
54. Verbalize respect.
55. Reliability, responsiveness, tangibles, assurance, empathy.
56. Know your case and their case.
57. Put enormous thought and energy into reconfiguring your world
so that when emergencies happen you have exactly what you need
to do the job.
58. Know their history when you arrive.
59. Always know and communicate the next step.
60. 3 Steps: Previous, Current, Next.
61. Way of the gull: Work like hell and go after every scrap.
62. Leverage time and effort.
63. Analyze, measure, identify my selling, marketing, advertising and operations.
64. In a minute, describe what it is about your business that gives
greater advantage, greater benefit, and greater result to your client.
65. How can I test one way against another?
66. What is my clear, accurate distinct vision of my business?
67. How many better, other additional ways could I be doing?
68. How can I get the highest and best use of my time and opportunity.
69. Who could recommend me?
70. What do my clients pre-do and post-do that I can leverage.
71. Do one good thing consistently well.
72. If something works, experiment with a copy.
73. Never create the same routine twice.
74. Trial and error but debrief.
75. Rise before dawn.
76. Be willing to be consumed by a task as long as it takes.
77. Practice the basics endlessly.
78. Your core investment must be in understanding your customers.
79. Stress high quality relationships
80. Be a perpetual prospecting machine.
81. Lose the no's.
82. Have a strategic plan and a relentless apllication of the plan.
83. Document everything. Always know what happened.
NLP Mega-Glossary
Accessing Cues
Keith Fail: Micro movements, often of the eyes and facial muscles that are reliably paired with a particular pattern of thinking. These small movements help us tune our neurology so to access that specific thinking pattern. For instance, people often look up as they visualize an image in their mind's eye, or flare their nostrils as they remember a smell.
NLP Home Page Glossary: Subtle behaviours that indicate which representational system a person is using. Typical types of accessing cues include eye movements, voice tone and tempo, body posture, gestures, and breathing patterns.
Lewis &Pucelik: movements of the eyes which are symptomatic of cerbral processes of retrieving thoughts and other experiences stored in the brain.
Tony Robbins: Behaviors that affect our neural processing in such a way that we can access on representational system more strongly than others. For instance, slowing your breathing rate and the tempo of your voice can direct you to access in a kinesthetic mode, tilting your head as though you're holding a telephone can direct you in an auditory mode and so on.
O'Connor & Seymour: The ways we tune our bodies by breathing, posture, gesture and eye movements to think in certain ways.
Andreas: Bandler and Grinder have observed that people move their eyes in systematic directions, depending upon the kind of thinking they are doing. These movements are called eye accessing cues.
Leslie Cameron-Bandler: I believe that some of the most relevant information concerning nonverbal communication is provided by accessing cues. My colleagues and I found--in the course of our studies of human behavior--that eye scanning patterns were definitely related to the internal processing necessary to bring into consciousness information regarding past remembered or future constructed experiences.
Bandler & Grinder: ...each of us has developed particular body movements which indicate to the astute observer which representational system we are using. Especially rich in significance are the eye scannning patterns which we have developed. Thus, for the student of hypnosis, predicates in the verbal system and eye scanning patterns in the nonverbal system offer quick and powerful ways of determining which of the potential meaning making resources--the representational systems--the client is using at a moment in time, and therefore how to respond creatively to the client.
Sid Jacobson: We have noticed that the eye movements people make as they are thinking and processing information provide a remarkably accurate index for sensory specific neurological activity.
Rex Steven Sikes: Eye movements, head tilts, postures, breathing shifts, arm and hand gestures, skin color, word choice, rate and rhythm, etc. all constitude non-verbal behavior that we can observe in other people. It is the unique combination of how we sequence movements in the face and body that allow us to access different parts of our brain for processing information.
Accessing is a looping process, ie. how we access is reflected in our behavior, and when we shift our behavior, we access different parts of our brain. An individual can learn greater flexibility of thinking and mental processing by adopting different facial expressions (eye & head, movements & positions) and body behaviors.
People also use accessing cues to "read" another person's behaviors. We can use this information to develop rapport by matching the person's behavior.
Anchor
NLP Home Page Glossary: Anchor: Any stimulus that is associated with a Tony Robbins: Anchoring--The process by which any representation (internal Dilts: Anchor: Stimuli that will consistently produce the same internal Michael Brooks: An anchor is a representation--either internal as with a Leslie Cameron-Bandler: In the same way that certain external stimuli Bandler & Grinder: Anchoring refers to the tendency for any one element of Sid Jacobson: ...it [is] an NLP way of talking about classical (Pavlov's) Andreas: The way we naturally link things that happen at the same time. NLP Home Page Glossary: As in a memory, looking through your own eyes, Stever Robbins: I would use the term "associated into an experience," rather For example, hearing the sound of your bicycle spokes in the breeze while Dilts: .States where you are experiencing an event "in time" as though it Leslie Cameron-Bandler: The process of association, then, is the inverse of Bandler: Associated means going back and reliving the experience, seeing it O'Connor & Seymour: Associated: Inside an experience, seeing through your Joseph O'Connor and John Seymour: The generalizations we make Richard Bandler and John Grinder: Behavior is organized around Tony Robbins: We usually think of beliefs in terms of creeds or Connirae Andreas: Our limiting beliefs are found embedded within Robert Dilts: Beliefs are not necessarily based upon a logical Joseph O'Connor and John Seymour: Accurately recognizing another Tony Robbins: The ability to notice and measure changes with respect to Robert Dilts, Tim Hallbom, Suzi Smith: Using sensory acuity (see, hear, Byron Lewis and Rank Pucelik: Calibrated communication, sometimes called Joseph O'Connor and John Seymour: (or stepping) Changing your perception NLP Comprehensive: Chunk size is the level of specificity. People who Joseph O'Connor and John Seymour: State of being unified, and Tony Robbins: A situation in which the message a person communicates Robert Dilts, Tim Hallbom, Suzi Smith: Congruency occurs when you make a NLP Comprehensive: When goals thoughts and behaviors are in agreement. Carmine Baffa: Congruence is a state, that is context dependent, where
specific response. Anchors happen naturally, and they can also be set up
intentionally, for example, ringing a bell to get people's attention, or
more subtle, standing in a particular place when answering questions.
Anchoring: The process of associating an internal response with some
external trigger (similar to classical conditioning) so that the response
may be quickly, and sometimes covertly, re-accessed. Anchoring can be
visual (as with specific hand gestures), auditory (by using specific words
and voice tone), and kinaesthetic (as when touching an arm or laying a hand
on someone's shoulder.) Criteria for anchoring: a) intensity or purity of
experience; b) timing; at peak of experience; c)accuracy of replication of
anchor.Source: NLP Web pages at
or external) gets connected to and triggers a subsequent string of
representations and responses. Anchors can be naturally occurring or set
up deliberately. An example of an anchor for a particular set of responses
is what happens when you think of the way a special, much-loved person says
your name.
data in an individual. Anchors occur naturally. Bandler and Grinder
discovered old modeling that you can deliberately set-up a stimulus with a
gesture or a touch or a sound to hold a state stable. Where an external
stimulus is paired with an internal state.
picture or feeling, or external as with a touch or sound--that triggers
(elicits) another such representation. It's a sensory stimulus paired with
either a response or a specific set of responses or states.
become associated with past experiences (thus recalling the past
experience) you can deliberately associate a stimulus to a specific
experience. Once this association has taken place, you can then trigger the
experience at will. It works in the same way that
language does.
an experience to bring back the entire experience.
conditioning, but it made a lot more sense.
This knowledge gives us a way to take resources from one area of our lives
and apply them in broader ways for our well-being.Associated State
hearing what you heard,and feeling the feelings as if you were actually
there. This is called the associated state.
than "associated state." A person is associated into an experience when their
awareness is of the sensory input directly associated with that experience. In a
dissociated state, awareness in some sensory channel is on an other
(internal) representation. Under this definition, "daydreaming" represents
dissociation from the here-and-now, and possible association into the
daydream.
riding a bicycle is an associated experience. Self-evaluative talk, "Am I
doing this correctly?" is dissociated (unless there's a tape in the
background of your voice asking that question). Example: Trancing out
in a dentist's chair and feeling the feelings of being on a warm beach
under the sun is dissociated from the dentist's office, and associated into
the beach feelings.
is happening now, in your own body, looking through your own eyes. Full
involvement in a moment or fully reliving a past experience.
the visual-kinesthetic dissociation process. Clients visualize themselves
in a scene and adjust the picture until it is just right for them. They
then step into themselves in the picture in order to feel the feelings
which are congruent with the projected experience.
from your own eyes. You see exactly what you saw when you were actually
there. You may see your hands in front of you, but you can't see your face
unless you're looking in a mirror.
own eyes, fully in your senses.Beliefs
about ourselves, others and the world and our operating principles in
it. Beliefs act as self-fulfilling prophecies that influence all our
behaviors. One of the neurological levels.
beliefs. As long as you can fit a behavior into someon's belief system,
you can get him to do anything, or stop him from doing anything. A
belief tends to be much more universal and categorical than an
understanding. When you already have a belief there's no room for
a new one unless you weaken the old belief first.
doctrines and that's what many beliefs are. But in the most basic
sense, a belief is any guiding principle, dictum, faith or passion that
can provide meaning and direction in life. Beliefs are the
prearranged, organized filter to our perceptions of the world. Beliefs
are the compass and maps that guide us toward our goals and give us
the surety to know we'll get there. Even at the level of physiology,
beliefs (congruent internal representations) control reality. Belief is
nothing but a state, an internal, represntation that governs behavior.
Beliefs are preformed, programmed approaches to perception that
filter our communication to ourselves in a consistent manner. Most
people treat a belief as if it's a thing, when really all it is is a feeling
of certainty about something.
our Intended Outcomes.
framework of ideas. They are, instead, notoriously unresponsive to
logic. They are not intended to coincide with reality. Since you don't
really know what is real, you have to form a belief--a matter of faith.Calibration
person's or a group's state by reading non-verbal signals. For example,
calibrating to high quality attention so that you can recognise it when you
have it from a group.
a standard. Calibrating depends on refined sensory acuity. You probably
have a good idea of when a loved one is feeling a little unsure or very
happy. This is because you have calibrated what their philosophy means.
feel) to notice specific shifts in a person's external state, i.e., voice
tone, posture, gestures, skin color, muscle tension, etc. to know when
changes are occurring in their internal state:
calibrated loop, are unconscious patterns of communcation in which a look,
gesture or expression unintentionally triggers a response from another
person. Often based on subliminal cues--minimal gestures that operate
outside the awareness of the individuals involved--these calibrated
communication loops can be the source of pain-producing miscommunication
between couples, family members and co-workers.Chunking
by going up and down a logical level. Stepping up is going up to a level
that includes what you are studying. For example, looking at the intention
behind a question chunks ups from that question. Stepping down is going to
a level below for a more specific example of what you are studying. This
can be done on the basis of member and class or part and whole. For
example, the first step in formulating an outcome is to phrase it in the
positive.
are detail-oriented are "small chunkers." People who think in general terms
are "large chunkers"--they see the big picture.Congruence, Congruity
completely sincere, with all aspects of a person working together
toward an outcome. It is not something you have, it is something you
do.
is the same or similar in all output channels--tht is, the words of
the message convey the same meaning as the previous two. All output
channels are being aligned. Incongruency exhibits conflicting
messages between output channels.
full conscious and unconscious commitment to some outcome or behavior.
the individual has aligned all of his/her pictures, words and feelings in a
way that allows that individual to be fully focused, without doubt, inside
of the behaviors that will lead to the desired outcome when in that
context. Yet when outside of that context, where congruence was the
alignment of all modalities, there needs to exist the ability to produce
doubt through misalignment,an incongruent state, for the purpose of
updating. Thus providing in the future, a feed forward loop, that improves
ones ability to perform congruently in that context, with a greater degree
of competency.
December 21, 2006
The FAQ
Answers to common questions:
Q: What is the purpose of alt.psychology.nlp? A: There are many:
Alt.psychology.nlp is intended as a forum for practitioners of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) to share and discuss information with each other.
Alt.psychology.nlp is also a forum for presenting and representing the attitudes and skills of some of its practitioners to the interested public.
It is a place for those who use NLP for self-improvement to share ideas and ask questions of practitioners.
It is a forum for discussing the wider implications of NLP; its future, its impact on other communications and therapy models (and vice versa), and its contributions to society at large.
Q: What is NLP?
A: A: NLP (NeuroLinguistic Programming) is a constantly evolving set of models, presuppositions, patterns, techniques, and observation-based theories resulting from the study of the structure of subjective experience, behavior and communication. Beyond understanding, NLP seeks to enable remedial and generative change quickly and ecologically. ToC
Q: Does NLP really work? Has it been scientifically validated?
A: It's difficult to prove that something doesn't work or doesn't exist. (e.g. Smoking has not yet been "scientifically proved" to cause cancer.) There is massive anecdotal evidence that NLP works. Few studies have been done on particular aspects of NLP with mixed results.
Q: Isn't NLP really just hypnosis?
A: No. NLP is not *just* hypnosis. Milton Erickson was a strong influence on NLP's founders, but NLP includes aspects of many other disciplines as well. For more information on hypnosis, you might want to check out alt.hypnosis.
Q: Can NLP be used ononeself?
A: Yes. Many people use NLP as a form of self development. If you are interested in self development, you may also want to read alt.self-improve or the excellent alt.self-improve FAQ.ToC
Q: What are the presuppositions of NLP?
A: Here are some of them.
No one is wrong or broken. People work perfectly to accomplish what they are currently accomplishing.
People already have all the resources they need.
Behind every behavior is a positive intention.
Every behavior is useful in some context.
The meaning of a communication is the response you get.
If you aren't getting the response you want, do *something* different.
There is no such thing as failure. There is only feedback.
In any system, the element with the most flexibility exerts the most influence.
The map is not the territory.
If someone can do something, anyone can learn it.
You cannot fail to communicate.
Q: Who started the alt.psychology.nlp newsgroup?
A: I. Chris English set up the newsgroup back in 1994 and originally created the text version of this FAQ.
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